Symbols and Complexion (prompt 2,Ch 4-1 & 2) (p113-130)

2. Tell about parts of the current chapter of the book that puzzled or confused you.
The forth section of the book is labeled "Complexion". As a child, Rodriguez had many feelings of insecurity because of his dark complexion. I thought that that was very interesting. The Mexicans in his family all wanted to be light. They were happy when their children had light complexions because "looks were important in the United States". Rodriguez spent much of his childhood trying to get rid of his dark complexion. He would cover up in the summer to keep from "tanning". One time he even shaved all the hair off of his arms hoping that it would take the darkness away with it.

I thought that this was very strange, because I think that his skin has a beautiful color and don't understand why he would be embarrassed by it. It seems like Mexicans should have darker skin because of the geographical area they were born. I guess this might be because so many Mexicans live around here that it seems normal...and that there isn't as much racial discrimination as then. Sometimes he would get teased for being "negro". His school friends, however, never teased him about it. They were friends with him because of what he was on the inside. He would go over to their houses and marvel at all of the things that they owned (because many of his friends were rich. He lived in Santiago.) He would see a Mexican gardener at one friends house and turn away pretending not too see, but it just made him yearn for "a body", even though the one he had was just fine. As a teen he never had a girlfriend because he was embarrassed by the way he looked and had a hard time talking to girls. His oldest sister was also dark. She never mentioned anything to him as a child, but when she was a mother she told him that she was relieved that all her children were light.

I was really surprised by this because I thought that they would want to be dark and don't understand why being so was "feo" (ugly). He also talked about Mexican men. Traditionally a "real man" was "Feo (Ruggedly handsome), Fuerte ('strong', having inner strength and character), and Formal (steady, responsible, consistent)" (p128). He learned to be formal by listening to his parents. One part of this was being silent, but maybe a different kind of silent. At home he was silent, but when he was with others he talked a lot. He was always talking to teachers and others. He also kept his head in books because then he could hide from his insecurities and because he read a lot he was very good with words. He was more like his mother in this way and in writing this book is not formal; But "So be it" (p130). In time he was able to overcome many of his insecurities. I also don't always understand the way he "had to be a man". Why can't people just be who they are. From reading about him, he seems like an interesting person who didn't need to hide who he was and yet sometimes he was forced to do so. This frustrates me, while reading the book. I understand why he could have had some of these insecurities, but not exactly why they were there in the first place. Our culture is so silly, because like his mother said "In the United States complexion matter."